good-bye & hello

Good-bye dear, sweet, yummy Oreo cookies. I will miss you somethin’ awful. I know I have tried to break off this love affair I have with you before, and yet, you keep coming back. I even went so far as not buy you in all your double stuffed goodness and opted for the mini you. But my clothes have started threatening to leave me if I don’t give you up. In fact, many of them already have said good-bye, leaving me with nothing to wear.

I really do hate to say good-bye to you and all your yummy friends. Oh, if you will, please pass on the message to ice cream, cakes & candy. And please don’t be offended if I walk right by you with out a second glance. It’s not that I don’t love you anymore but you are just not good for me right now.

Besides, if any one should be mad, well, it should be me. You know my cute little shirts that I like to wear, well, you made them leave. Don’t get me started on my cute little denim shorts that I can barely button now. And the black dress. My cute little black dress. Because of you and all your little friends, I will not be putting it back on for a long while.

I’m not blaming you.

Really, I’m not.

Okay, just a little. 

But you have been a good friend. A dear friend. You were right there with me during some of the best times and you stood by me during the not so good times. But now I must say good-bye. And I promise you, if you just stay away for two weeks, (keeping your friends away too will be helpful),  I will take you swimming with us. Because it just ain’t a day at the pool without you.

Hello, slim-fast and lean cuisine. I’m just gonna be up front, I am not looking forward to this little reunion with you. And honestly, I am just using you to get my cute little eight’s to come back. After you helped me out last time I took everything to Goodwill and now I am only down to one or two things left that actually fit. 

Yes, you are right, I should have never kicked you out before but let’s face it, you are quiet the party popper.  I mean you are not even in the same league as my other friends.

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. And your right, I’ll not give in to peer pressure this time around. I’ll stick with it this time, I know I will, cause, well, girlfriend ain’t got nothin’ to wear and I really do not have the time or energy to go looking for new clothes. Plus, those mirrors make objects appear to be bigger than they are and I don’t think I can do that to my poor legs. I just can’t bear the thought of putting them through that.

I know you can help me get my cute little clothes back. And I know that after spending a couple of weeks with you things will be back the way they should be, and I’ll be able to breathe, and actually sit without having to pull my skirt up to my armpits.

I will cooperate this time. I promise. No more sugary sweets! No more stopping by sonic between the hours of 2 & 4 for a large half priced sweet tea. Although, it is super refreshing on a day like today, I’ll drive right on by.